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I have a variety of interests and I am constantly monitoring myself and working on who I am as a human being.

All that feels as if it were for naught when someone tells me they “only date black women”; I feel diminished, not loved– not revered. All that hard work on becoming a better person and better citizen of the world–fighting tooth and nail for the world to respect my humanity–and still the only thing you see is what color my skin happens to be, the rest of me tossed aside like so much fluff.

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There is no middle ground with him, we must only live completely and entirely enmeshed in our black culture or you are a “wannabe and/or a sellout” because obviously liking anything he has deemed as solely belonging to “White Culture” is treason.So when you walk up to me in the library or encounter me at the New Year’s Eve party and one of your opening lines to me is how you “…only date black women.”; you will now know why the conversation hit a wall and why my mood cooled towards you.I appreciate the sentiment, but I don’t want you dating my race or the shade of my skin–I want you dating Pamela.I simply cannot and will not live in that kind of constant anger and fear.My skin is not armor in a culture war; I seek to unify all of humanity, not just one skin color.There are typically four types of men who will use this phrase: Type One: .